4am Panic!
Watching a recorded episode of the PBS NewsHour at 10 pm does not lead to good sleep. So far I've been able to resist watching the stock market ticker. This morning I awoke at 4 a.m. with an adrenaline surge and at 5 a.m. I was compelled to take a peek at my investments. Down significantly but not as bad as I feared. In fact, sort of similar to the 2008 crash.
This afternoon I had a virtual happy hour with friends. One of the couples has a nephew who lives in New York but has stayed in San Jose to help his mother for a few weeks. The nephew really read the riot act to my friends about maintaining social isolation and protecting their health. (And the health of others.) He shared lots of statistics about the trajectory of the infection and hospitalizations. Also a lot of concern about who will get the limited number of hospital beds and respirators. Thus the virtual happy hour. We had planned to be reckless and have a 6 foot safety zone happy hour. At the last minute, we all said we'd rather not take a chance of catching or spreading infection and switched to the virtual option. It was fun and a great way to connect with friends, but not the same as face-to-face.
We really are in uncharted waters here. I can choose to live in anxiety or in trust that with some attention to the details of life all will work out. It may not be the future that I planned, but I don't want to live in fear. If I let my imagination run wild I'll live and experience the emotional toll of countless disasters that probably won't actually happen.
So, with a rough start to the day, it actually turned out well. My painting project is progressing. We had another beautiful spring day. I was able to mow the back yard. (That makes my dog, Dreya, happy. She doesn't like long grass on her feet. Such a princess!) And happy hour with friends! All is good so far.
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